A New Beginning

And just like that, it's over. At the moment, I don't really have any running plans in the immediate future. In years past, I'd would take some pretty serious downtime after the completion of the Chicago Marathon. I probably won't be doing that this time around. I will take things easy for a few weeks, just to make sure all the little creaks and pains go away, but that will probably be the extent of my downtime. I kind of look forward to getting back to just regular running for a while.

Actually, it's hard to make too plans right now because my wife and I are expecting our third child in early December. Well, actually, the baby is due in December, but we are really expecting it sometime in November. Kelly has a history of early pregnancies. So, once the baby is born, there is going to be a few weeks there where everyone in the house will just go into survival mode. Running probably won't be a real high priority during this time. From a running standpoint, this baby is really coming at a perfect time. It fits perfectly into my downtime. I didn't plan it this way. Really.

As far as the race goes, I'm mostly pleased with how it turned out. For the first time in a long time, I was able to pretty much maintain pace for the entire marathon distance. I did run a one minute positive split for the second half of the race, but that was more a factor of the wind than anything. While I was out there running, I felt like for the first time ever, I was actually racing a marathon instead of just running it. It was a good feeling.

Having said that, I think there are some areas in my training that I can improve on. From May 8th - July 30th of this year, I averaged 100 miles per week. During this time, I was over the 100 mile mark for the week 11 out of the 12 weeks. However, once August hit, my mileage and consistency took a big hit. It was pretty much inevitable due to other things going on in my life, but it is still an area that I can improve on for next year. In the months of August and September my mileage slipped to about 70 miles per week, and I only topped the 100 mile mark once. If I would have been able to maintain that 100 mile workload through the end of the training cycle, I have little doubt that 2:36 would have been possible.

Another area that I know I need to work on is to incorporate more speedwork into my routine. This was really my first year consistently running big miles, so the plan all along was to just get the miles in and only run fast when I felt like I could. I think that philosophy helped me stay injury free for the year. However, with a year under my belt of doing this, I think I should be able to work in more hard stuff and still be able to keep injuries at bay.

Speaking of injuries, now seems like a perfect time to actually go to the podiatrist to get some pains in my feet looked at. I've been dealing with an on-again, off-again case of Plantar Fasciitis for about, oh, as long as I can remember. I've never actually had it looked at by anyone, so it would probably make some sense to do that now. I don't know why I hate going to the doctor so much, I just do. Also, I have been dealing with some pretty serious pain at the base of my big toe for about 2 years now. Obviously it has been manageable or I wouldn’t have been running through it for 2 years, but it does hurt all the time, so it's probably a good idea to see what I'm dealing with. My knee, which allegedly has a slight tear of the ACL, has improved quite a bit since the summer and I think with a few weeks of easy mileage it should become a non-factor going forward. I will most likely be retiring from the softball circuit for a while just to ensure I don't do any further damage to the knee.

As far as goals for next year, I think eventually I would like to be able to consistently run under 16 minutes for the 5K and I would really like to be under 2:30 for the marathon. I'm probably a lot closer to the 5K goal that I am to the marathon goal, but realistically, I think I could possibly achieve both in 2007 if I can stay healthy and really work on my speed. My endurance has always been my big limiting factor when it came to running prior to this year, but I think now, it may actually be my speed. I'm not sure how that will affect my training going forward, but I would imagine that it will. The road to my 2007 goals started today with a big 4 miles on the treadmill at the gym. You know what they say...Rome wasn't built in a day.

LBCM

Most of the time
I'm clear focused all around,
Most of the time
I can keep both feet on the ground,
I can follow the path, I can read the signs,
Stay right with it, when the road unwinds,
I can handle whatever I stumble upon,
I don't even notice she's gone,
Most of the time.
-Bob Dylan

My oldest sister introduced to me the words of this song in something she wrote a few days ago, and ever since I've read it, it has really stuck with me. The words are exactly what I'm feeling right now, and not just because of my recent popensity for running off course during races. The Chicago marathon has always been a special day for me and my mom. We both looked forward to it all year. This past Sunday was my 9th straight Chicago Marathon. However, this was the first one that I've ever run without my mom being there at mile 6 and the finish line with her obnoxious yellow "Go Greg" sign, cheering like crazy for me. This was definitely going to be a day that I would notice that she was gone.

I got down to the race around 7AM and was feeling pretty good. I went back and forth on what to wear for the race but had decided on the way downtown that I would wear longsleeves with a shortsleeve t-shirt over it. However, once I got down there and was ready to check my stuff in at the gear check tent, I made a last-minute decision to ditch the long sleeve shirt and just go with the short sleeves. Looking back, it was a good decision. I was chilly for that first mile, but that was really the last time I remember even thinking about the cold.

My plan was to go out conservatively. If there was one thing that I wanted to get out of this marathon, it was a true sense of my fitness. The best way to ruin that goal was to go out hard in the first few miles and wind up shuffling home at the end. I hit that first mile in 6:30 and I was happy. The next two miles were closer to 6 and I hit the first 5K in 19:03 for a 6:08 pace. At this point, I was feeling comfortable and I didn't even feel like I was breathing. It was what the first 3 miles of a marathon should be. Effortless.

The next 5K was heading right into the teeth of the wind, but luckily, the crowd was still pretty thick at this point, so it wasn't too difficult to find a little shelter if the wind got too bad. It was this segment of the race that I was kind of dreading all week. Mile 6 is where my mom has always been for this race. This year, my two aunts who always go with her, were still going to be there, but with my mom absence, I had no idea how I would react when I saw them. Would I break down? Would they break down? As I approached I the spot, I could see the big green "Go Greg" sign and I knew this was it. But for whatever reason, the grief didn’t hit me. There was a big crowd there including my two aunts, my youngest sister and her husband and my cousin who was my best friend growing up. They were cheering and screaming and I did what came naturally. I gave them the thumbs up, a pump of the fist, and kept on moving. I did the second 5K in 18:42 for a 6:01 overall pace. With the wind in my face, this was just about perfect.

Finally, about halfway through the next 5K segment, you change directions and start heading north. This was the first time that we really had the wind at our back. It felt great. Almost instantly, I saw my mile splits start to creep under six minute miles and thing started really feeling good. I saw my wife around the 9 mile mark and once again I gave the thumbs up and a pump of the fist. Apparently, I decided on my reaction of choice for the day. I came through the 3rd 5K in 18:33 for a 5:58 pace.

From there I spent the rest of the next 10 miles or so adjusting my pace depending on the wind. If it was at my back, I tried to push it a little. If it was in my face, I would sit back and be happy to keep it around 6 min/mile. I was completely comfortable the entire time up until around mile 16 or so. That was the first time that a small seed of doubt entered my psyche.

This is the first year that I have ever used GU in my running. I always relied entirely on Gatorade and water. However, last year on a fluke, I took one during a trail marathon I was running and felt immediate benefits from it, so now I have been trying to work it into my routine more often. The Chicago marathon always has a GU stop around mile 17, so I was planning on grabbing a couple this year and taking one at 17, one at 20, and another at 23 if I felt like I needed it. With that in mind, I drank no Gatorade the entire race and I was starting to feel a little depleted around mile 16. I thought that the GU stop was at mile 16.5, so when I didn't see it, I was starting to get a little panicky. I started making a plan about how I would have to start pounding the Gatorade now to make up for the calories that I needed. Luckily, it was just my head getting a little disoriented because around 17.5 the GU stop magically appeared and I got my supply. Since I had no pockets in my shorts I had to carry one of the packets until I took it at mile 21, but it didn't really matter much.

As far as pace, I was able to stay pretty consistent through mile 20. All my miles were still hovering around 6 minute pace and I was passing people all over the place. My aggressive goal was to be around 2:36, however, the more attainable goal was to break 2:40. I knew that if I wanted a shot at 2:36, I would have to come through the 20 mile mark under 2 hours to have a realistic chance. When I looked up and saw 2:00:30 at mile 20, I knew I had some decisions to make. I was feeling pretty good at this point, but I also knew that with the last 3 miles into a headwind I either had to go hard from 20-23 and then try and hang on at the end, or continue to just maintain pace from 20-23, hoping to be strong for those last 3 miles.

In the end, I went the conservative route and just hung right around a 6 minute pace from 20-23 and then pushed as hard as I could for those last 3 miles. Those last 3 miles were really the only time I felt like the wind was a nagative factor in the race. However, it was also at this point that I knew I was going to finish strong. I was passing people like crazy. I must admit that having run Chicago 9 times give me a huge home field advantage in this race. It's very comforting to know exactly where you are at every step of a race and to know what the wind is going to do, as you approach each turn. If I was running this race somewhere else, I don't think I could have run it as smart as I did.

With a mile to go, I knew that I was probably going to come in under 2:39. It was at this point, that I finally let me thoughts turn to my mom. For the most part, the entire race I was too busy staying in the moment to really think about anything else. However during those last few steps, my mom joined me. As I was heading down to the finishing chute, I looked over into the stands, and it was weird not seeing my mom jumping up and down in the first row of the bleachers. I still don't know how she got that spot every year, but somehow she did. As I started thinking about it, I looked up to the skies and finally started to lose it. Luckily, I only had about a quarter mile to go in that condition because by the time I got across the line, I was close to hyperventilation.

After convincing the a few of the medical people that I was really OK, just a tad emotional, they left me alone to go retreive my medal. When I finally got to meet up with my family the calls started to roll in about how I was on TV. Apparently the TV caught a little more of my finishing emotions then the on-line video, because my uncle said he was close to tears watching it. The rest of the day was spent with my family basking in the afterglow of another marathon completed.

My splits for each 5K went down like this:

Overall Split Pace
0:19:03 0:06:08
0:37:45 0:18:42 0:06:01
0:56:18 0:18:33 0:05:58
1:14:45 0:18:27 0:05:56
1:33:30 0:18:45 0:06:02
1:52:17 0:18:47 0:06:03
2:11:06 0:18:49 0:06:03
2:30:14 0:19:08 0:06:09

Finish: 2:38:36 (A PR by 7:19)

I ran this race just about as smart as I could. I pushed when I felt like I should be pushing, and I stayed patient when I had to stay patient. I can honestly say that I ran just about right up to what I was capable of running. I'm extremely happy with how it turned out. I'll start with some more in depth analysis in a few days.

To say that the marathon was closure for me on my mom's death would be a bit of an overstatement. I don't think I'll ever find closure on the whole thing. She will always be a living part of me. However, I think that this was at least the end of a chapter. The Chicago marathon and my mom went together. I can't think of one without the other. I miss her, but I know she doing good. And slowly I can say that I'm starting to feel OK again too. Well, at least most of the time

Mission Accomplished

2:38:36 chip time and a 7:19 PR. Overall, I'm extremely happy with the effort. I finished strong and didn't feel like I left anything out on the course.

A full report to follow.

Ooh Yeah. That's the Stuff

So my self-imposed carb fast officially ended this morning around 8:30 after I completed my 8 mile run. The old mushrooms that have been hiding away in my glycogen stores have been cleared out, and now it's time to start restocking the muscles with fresh mushrooms. OK, I know I'm completely abusing the mushroom analogy that Mike created, but it came to mind near the end of my 8 miler, so I thought I'd use it. It was nice to be able eat some oatmeal and a pop-tart for breakfast, but the real treat was the pasta for lunch. It was probably the best pasta I've ever eaten in my life. My legs still feel a bit heavy, so I know there is work to be done over the next few days, but hey, eating is the kind of work I can handle.

It was kind of neat as I was ending my run this morning. The realization came to me that everything I've been working for this year is about to come to a head. I remember bundling up in sub freezing temps in January with an eye towards this race. I've never been so singular in my goals before. It seems to have paid off, but the real test will be here in a few days.

The weather is all over the map right now, but it seems the two main concerns are going to be the wind and the rain. The wind, I can handle. I run in this stuff pretty much every day and a 15MPH northwest wind is really not too bad for this race. It will be in our face for the first 8 miles and last 6 miles, but at our back for those race-defining miles of 8-20. The rain, I can do without. I mean a sprinkle here and there will be fine, but if I have to run this whole race in soaking wet shoes, it is not going to be fun. I guess it doesn't matter really. Whatever it is, I'll deal with. If you couldn't tell by the three consecutive days of posting, I'm actually getting excited about race day.

Carbo Loading

For reasons not entirely clear to me at the moment, I decided to go with the old, outdated carbo-loading technique of 3 days of carb depletion, followed by 3 days of carb loading. I realize that most sane people have deemed this method unneccessary, but I really wanted to go old school with this one, so I figured I would see if I noticed any difference. My main assumption in trying this out, is that regardless of what I do on Monday-Wednesday of this week, with a solid carbohydrate loading from Thursday - Saturday, I should be no worse off than if I just went with my normal pre-race routine.

In doing some research on this, the main drawbacks that I've read is that the depletion stage is just kind of tough on your body. After 10 months of focusing on carbs, it's very difficult to just give them up cold turkey. Extremely difficult actually. First there is just the practical problem that I don't really no how to do the low-carb thing. I don't know how to shop low-carb, I don't know how to cook low-carb, and ultimately, I don't know how to eat low-carb. The second problem is more of a functional issue. My body wants carbs. Bad. On Monday, this whole depletion thing was fun. On Tuesday it started to become a chore. I was hungry all the time and wanted to eat everything in sight, but I couldn't. Today, is worse than yesterday. It doesn't matter what I eat, I'm still hungry. Of course, it's not like I'm eating all that much. I don't even know how.

So last night in a desperate attempt to trick my body into thinking I was eating pasta, I bought some spaghetti squash and prepared it just the way I would regular pasta. It was OK, but really it wasn't the same. It made me feel full for, oh about 30 minutes, but soon enough the stomach started growling. I spent the rest of the night gazing into the refrigerator and the cupboard looking for something else low-carb I could eat. I didn’t find it. Today is more of the same. The plan for tomorrow is to get in an easy 9 mile run in the morning and then tear into the carbs. I can't wait.

Now I realize some people are going to think I'm foolish for experimenting with my body so close to race day. I fully agree with you. At best, this stunt will allow for a few more calories of glycogen stored in the muscles on race day. At worst, I'll collapse tomorrow during my run and never be heard from again. The reality is probably that it will have zero effect, but at least I can say I tried it and it was or wasn't worth the headaches. I'll let you know. One more day...thank God.

The one advantage that I have noticed this week is that while I do feel hungry all the time, I don't feel sluggish and bloated like I usually do during the last week of the taper. I'm guessing it's because of the goofy diet. As an added bonus, the running, despite the depleted glycogen levels, has been surprisingly good this week. I've been trying to spend some time on each run at race pace and things feel comfortable. The money's in the bank. It's time to cash that check.

Well, actually, it's time to start obsessing about the weather, but that's another blog entry entirely.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I remember back in January, when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do this year as far as running goes. I was coming off a 2 minute PR in the Chicago Marathon, but to be honest, running was beginning to lose some of its appeal to me. I had progressed from a 3:35 debut marathon in 1998, down to a 2:51 marathon in 2000. From there, I spent the next couple of years hovering around that 2:50 mark, never improving it and on several occasions regressing from it. Finally in 2004, after an 8 month layoff from running, I was able to put in my best summer of running ever and finally lowered my PR in the marathon down to 2:48. That was done on a yearly total of 846 miles, but since I didn't start running until June of that year, that number is a little misleading.

The next year, the goal was to run more consistently leading up to the summer so I could hit the ground running, so to speak. I accomplished that and was able to nearly double my yearly mileage totals, to around 1750 miles. I once again PRed in the Chicago marathon, lowering my PR down to 2:46:08. While I was happy with the PR, I must admit, I was wondering if I was nearing the end of my potential. I was following traditional 18 week programs, doing the speedwork and longruns, and I had managed to take a total of 5 minutes off of my PR in 5 years. Was it really worth it.

Finally in January of this year, I decided that I was sick of nickel and diming my PR down. I wanted to take a chunk out of it. I wanted to run in the mid 2:30's. When I made the declaration I had no idea how I was going to accomplish it really. I knew I would have to train harder than I ever have before, but I wasn't sure of the specifics behind it. Finally I settled on a high-mileage plan that would take the emphasis off of trackwork and traditional speedwork, instead focusing on higher weekly mileage, tempo runs, and long runs. When I first made the plan up, I figured if everything went perfectly, I should run around 3300 miles the time the Chicago Marathon rolled around. Here I sit, less than a week away from the big day, and my mileage for the year is 3245 and things definitely haven't gone perfectly.

The last 2 months have been extremely difficult, but as Andrew mentioned in one of his comments, you cannot deny the training. Sure there are doubts, but there is also a strong sense of confidence somewhere under the surface. Is a mid 2:30's race possible this weekend? I don't know, but to be honest, I don't even know that I care anymore. What I took away from this year's training cannot be measured by a guntime. If I don't hit it this weekend, there will be other races. This is just the beginning.

Ahh Yes...The Taper

I really dislike tapering, mainly because I'm not very good at it. I should probably clarify that last sentence, because really there are two ways to taper poorly. The first way is to keep the load too high, which completely destroys the purpose of the taper. The second way to suck at the taper is too run too little. That's my problem. Once the mileage drops and the end is in sight, for some reason the motivation goes out the window too. This week I've managed two 6 miles runs and one big fat zero day. I've written it off as part of my recovery from my 11.5 mile race this weekend, but I have a feeling things wouldn't be much different even if that race didn't happen. Anyway, at this point, it's probably better to do too little instead of too much, so I guess I got that going for me, which is nice. Both runs felt like complete crap too, which makes me think that the taper must be working.

Here is an article on the race from this past weekend. This guy completely made up quotes. I know I said the part about "mistakes happen," but everything else he pretty much made up. The last sentence is what bugs me the most.

"It's the first time I've won this race. Maybe I'll win a full one someday."

Ahh yes. A boy can dream.

Calumet City Half-Marathon**

I've developed somewhat of a routine over the past 3 years on how I taper for the Chicago Marathon. I train normally until two weeks out from the marathon, and then every year two weeks out from the marathon, there is a small half-marathon by my house that I run, which officially marks the beginning of my taper. I run the half at an all-out effort and use it as a benchmark for my fitness. The past three years that I've done this race, I've managed to PR at the half-marathon distance, so it has always served as a good morale booster. This year, I didn't know what to expect since I had just set my half-marathon PR two months ago, and have had a difficult go of it since then. But a routine is a routine, so I decided to do the race regardless. As has become the norm lately, thing didn't turn out quite as planned.

It was a perfect morning for running, with temps in the lows 50's and sunny and clear skies. For me, if I could order a day to run on, this would be it. It's a shame really. This is normally the weekend that the Chicago Marathon is run on, but due to some scheduling conflicts they had to move it back two weeks this year. Hopefully, we'll get equally good weather in two weeks…or at the very least I hope it doesn't snow. In talking with the race director right before the race, she casually mentioned that she had to make some last minute changes to the course due to construction. I didn't like the sound of that, but they have always done a good job with this race, so I decided it was no big deal. Ha.

My biggest goal for this race was to show some restraint in the first few miles and not go out too hard. If you've been reading any of my race reports from this year, you can see that I've pretty much always just go out hard and tried to hang on at the end. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. However, with such a short recovery window after this race, I really didn’t want to beat myself up too much during this race, so going out relatively easy was even more important. I hit the first mile in 5:40 and the second in 5:34 and at that point, I decided I was fine. I was feeling good and was running in second place, about 15 seconds behind the leader and about 10 seconds ahead of the third place guy. I'll admit that I really wanted to win this race. In the three years that I've run this race, I've come in 3rd, 2nd, and 3rd so with a good run, I knew that I should be right around the winners. I figured if I could keep him in sight in these early miles, I would take my chances later on in the race.

Things continued to go good through mile 6 with comfortable splits of 5:40 and 5:41 and then a 5:50 mile which was into the wind. And then things got interesting. There were two lead vehicles for us to follow. One stayed the #1 runner and the second car hung back and stayed with me. So navigating the course seemed to be no problem. Just follow the lead vehicle, right? Wrong. At one point, the car drove up ahead to block traffic on one of the busy intersection and I just continued to run straight. Eventually the car drove up ahead of me again, and turned down a side street. About half-way down the side street, he stopped and as I ran past the window of the car, he yelled out to me, "You missed a turn!" Ugh. To say I was upset was an understatement. After the mess at Dances with Dirt, where I got lost in the woods and ran an extra 10 miles on one leg, this was the last thing I needed right now. So I went up the window and asked what do I need to do to get back on course?!? He said, I don't know, let me check. So he got on his walkie talkie and said, "This guy wants to know what he has to do to get back on course." Pause, no response.

Did I mention that a race is going on right now? Well it was. While I was sitting there conversating with the guy in the car, the #3 runner just moseys on by me. I yelled at him that we were going the wrong way, but he had on headphones and seemed to be oblivious to the big red truck stopped in the middle of the street, so I let him go. I turned around and there was the fourth and fifth place runners heading down towards me too. Eventually the guy in the car says, "They say you should just keep going. That's the #2 runner who just passed, so we'll figure it all out at the finish line." Grrr. I felt like saying, actually that's the #3 runner. I'm the #2 runner, or at least I was. So I took off. Then after about 10 seconds of running, I said this is stupid and turned around and decided I was going to just walk off the course.

Leading up to this race, I was really stressing to myself that I wanted to be mentally tough in the marathon. If something doesn't go as expected, I want to stay tough and not let the first negative thought do me in, but here I was in my final tune-up race and I was walking off the course because something went wrong. Luckily, all these thoughts blasted through my mind as I was walking off the course. At that point, I decided that a hard 11+ miles was better than nothing, and I should try and salvage the day. I took off after the #2 guy, who now had about a 45 second lead on me.

So with the goal of running for a PR pretty much out the window at this point, my new goal was to catch the #2 guy. I slowly started to reel him in and finally at the 10.5 mile mark, I caught and passed him. Of course that was the course 10.5 mile mark. For me, it was about the 9 mile mark, since are little snafu cut off about a mile and a half off the course. I pushed hard to the finish and my last two miles were my fastest of the day with a 5:31 and a 5:29.

I didn't know what to expect at the finish line. As soon as I came across, I told the race director about what happened and she said she knew and that the top 8-10 runners all did the same thing. She said she would give a refund of our money if we wanted and that she was very sorry. She said the results would stand and that she would take our average pace and add that on to our final time to give a 13.1 time for placing purposes. At that point, she said well, at least you won. I said no, I didn't win. There was someone ahead of me. She said that he actually walked off the course once he found out about the wrong turn, demanded a refund and left. Now, if this was a $60 race I would expect more, but for the $20 race fee, I give the organizers a little more leeway. Everyone was trying their best and mistakes happen.

I don't know. I took the win (and the accompanying $50 Home Depot Gift Card), since all of the leaders did the same thing, but I would have much rather had an accurately run half-marathon time. I was encouraged that I was able to run two 5:30 miles to end the thing and that I was able to catch and pass the second place runner late in the race. And really, when I think about it, maybe only doing 11.5 miles saved me some of the wear and tear that the last mile and half would have caused. Yeah, I know it's a stretch, but it's all I got. I don't even know what my time was when I crossed the finish line, and with the minute that I sat out on the course debating with the lead car, I don't even know if it matters.

So sorry to Chris, who reads this blog and asked me about this race a few months ago. I gave it a ringing endorsement, saying it was really low-key and well run. Well, he went off course too, and then was pressed into course marshalling duties after he finished since there were several potentially life-threatening road crossing that were unmanned when runners were coming down the home stretch. In my defense, I also told him that it was a PR course, which it definitely was yesterday. Well at least for the first 10 runners or so it was.

It's All Over Now, Except the Racing

I always seem to have problems with motivation once I get close to a marathon. Here I am less than three weeks out from my goal race and haven't felt like doing anything all week long. I guess you could say that's all part of the taper, even though I'm not officially starting the taper until next week. All my runs this week have been generally shorter than normal although I have felt pretty good on them once I dragged my butt out the door. I should wind up around 90 miles for the week, which in any other year would be great, but the bar has been raised this year, so it has become merely adequate.

For the most part, I'm a pretty positive person, but reading through my last couple of months of of blog entries I realize that I have been kind of a nut. To be honest, other than a training diary I'm not even sure there is much value in this thing at the moment. I started this blog to document my training, get feedback on it, and maybe motivate some other runners out there. Unfortunately, I've been so deliquent in updating the thing that it really has become rather unproductive. Now some of that was caused by things outside of my control, but mostly it has been that I just haven't had much fun running lately. To be honest, I can't wait for the marathon to get here so I can be done with running for a week or so and get some sort of passion back for it.

Yesterday I did two runs. The first was 7 miles at an easy pace during lunch and then after work I did 21 miles. The long run went good. I felt extremely comfortable the whole time and I would up averaging just under 7 minute miles. The 21 miler was my last official longrun, although I may do one more 17 miler early next week, depending on how I recover from the half-marathon that I'm doing on Sunday. Ah yes, the half-marathon on Sunday. I originally thought this would be a nice confidence booster prior to the marathon and to give me a final gauge as to what I could realistically expect. Now I'm kind of nervous about it. If I do, for whatever reason, run badly on Sunday, my confidence is going to be shot for the big race. It's tough being such basket case. Really it is.

I went out and bought my marathon shoes today in hopes that they will bring some motivation. I got the Brooks Axiom 2...my second pair of Axioms. I really do like these shoes. They are the lightest pair of shoes that I've ever worn (although I'm sure there are lighter ones out there), yet they still have a good amount of support to them. The last time I went to get a pair of these, they didn't have any in stock, so I went with the Mizuno Wave Inspire instead. Not a bad shoe, but man, when I put on those Axioms today, my feet were happy. My wife is going to be happy too, because, man, those Mizunos acquired quite a funk to them over the past month or so.

The Lost Week

My mom passed away late Monday night, after a two month battle with pancreatic cancer. My mom was always my biggest supporter when it came to running. She cheered me on during my first marathon in 1998 and was at every single Chicago marathon that I ran since then, 8 in total.

My mom got me started in running when I was very young.. I remember at the age of 4 she would go out for a 3 mile jog, and then she would stop at home, pick me up, and we would run another half mile together around a big hill by our house. I still remember so vividly my mom yelling at me when I met her outside one day with sandals on for our half-mile excursion. "You can't run in sandals! You'll hurt your feet" But she let me anyway. She had to. There was no way she was stopping me from doing the two things that I loved most: spending time with my mom and running. I miss her so much. I'm still not sure how I am going to get past mile 6, her usual cheering spot, without having a complete meltdown.

Chicago is less than 3 weeks away and to be quite honest, I don't know what to expect anymore. Last week was pretty much a lost week, as far as running goes. I logged a total of 22 miles, with the wake and funeral and just the general depression that was going on. This week is off to a better start, but I realize that anything I do right now is really window dressing. I really believe I was on my way to a breakthrough race up until two months ago. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my training took a hit. I don't have a single regret though. Running took a backseat and that's fine. I still think I'm capable of a good race, if I think about it objectively, now I just need to convince my body of that.

Yesterday was 8 miles at a general aerobic pace and today was 8 miles again, with 4 of those miles at a 5:47 pace. I was planning on going longer today, but I just didn't have it. I was feeling sluggish and decided not to push it. Hopefully, I'll get a couple of longruns in this week and then a half-marathon on Sunday. Once the race is over, I will officially start the taper to Chicago.